I love this shit. ALL of it. I love being there all the time, I love watching the show and feeling productive and helpful, I love sitting in the back corner, I love being useful.
I do not, however, love sucking in school, love insomnia, love slacking in school, love my sugar addiction, love the frustration that sometimes comes with doing these things, love the expectations that I sometimes think people have of me, love the disappointment when I don't deliver.
I appreciate the times people thank me, but really? I love sometimes, knowing that I made a difference in a way nobody but me really knows about. Because that difference is there. And the show would've been different without it. Maybe it wouldn't have been better or worse, but it would have been different.
It's kind of like writing in the sand. The wind may blow and nobody can see what you wrote, but the sands are in a different order, now that you've written in it. It doesn't matter that to the passerby, nothing would seem different. You would know, the sand would know, the wind that blew it over would know, and that is enough.
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