I say tomorrow will be different. But my project is unprogressing, my research untouched. But I did reach my goal of getting up this morning. Maybe tomorrow I will get up and do something productive. One small goal at a time, maybe it'll be reachable this way.
I need to decide if I'm going to be self-conscious about my singing or not. I should just audition, I know all the people... does that make it better or worse. I want to be better more than I want to get in, so hopefully they'll understand that.
People think I'm silly this, determine for yourself: I'd rather not do PJC because I'm not good enough, than to not do it because I chickened out and didn't audition. Is that weird? Is it masochistic to want to be rejected?
I'm fairly sure I understand the situation now. I just wish everything could be validated and we can all move on. I do love them all though. Somebody asked, "Do you still like him?" My response, "It's irrelevant, isn't it?" It doesn't matter if I do or don't. I can't, and therefore, won't. It's just a matter of time before I get there. Where do we draw the line anyhow between caring about people and liking them, anyhow? Does it matter if they can or if they like you? Shouldn't it be outside of that completely. But if it is, then what keeps people from being hopelessly in love with certain people, or does our practicality kick in to stop us from wasting our time? Oh, and don't say "He just likes you." [insert pause] "Not like THAT." Scary-ness.
In the good news department, I think I'm caught up in karma. Thank goodness.
College is such a precious time bubble. I hope I allow myself to enjoy it while it lasts.
Sleep. Wake and embark on the adventure that is tomorrow.
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