"I'm a big kid now" - Band Aid Commercial?

What do you want to be when you grow up? I'm sure I, like so many adults before me, will be asking this question often, especially during this summer teaching kindy classes, and next year, working with juniors in high school. Typically, the answers include: astronaut, teacher, president, artist, but what does growing up really mean? Is it just a job? Is it what you fill in the “occupation” or “job title” blank?

I like to think that growing up goes beyond a job title. Growing up includes having a job, hopefully, one you enjoy, but more importantly, the job provides financial security, part of the the process for growing up. It's not just the job, though, it is also being independent and taking care of yourself and others, being responsible for your own life, setting your own alarm, getting up on your own in the morning, and doing the things you want.

Even though growing up means doing things independently and on your own, it doesn't mean we have to grow up on our own. I've had lots of help! Leaving California was the most grown-up thing I've done. I grew a lot in high school and in college, but the fact was, I lived either at home, or very close to home and always had a lot of support from my family. After I graduated, I lived in Berkeley, but went home every weekend. There's only so grown-up you can get when your mom still cooks for you.

Coming to Illinois, my parents were fairly uninvolved. They had opinions, of course, but they didn't look at apartments for me, they didn't look at my lease, they didn't book my plane ticket. They said I could come, and there ended their greatest involvement in my leaving. My mom doesn't even ask me if I've done my laundry, or if I'm getting up on time. She assumes everything is fine unless told otherwise.

When my dad stopped giving me money, though, right after I graduated from college, I felt the most financially independent. I watch my bank accounts now like a hawk, and calculate when I'm getting paid and when I have to pay my credit card all the time now, but it felt so good to pay rent and everything on my own. I mean, I'd love if somebody did pay it for me, but, the idea that I can absolutely take care of myself financially is wonderful.

I'm not completely an adult, yet, though. I still call my parents and get their okay before signing a new lease. I make sure it's okay to go to Los Angeles for a week before buying bus tickets. Maybe it means I'm still holding off adulthood, simply that, unlike many other young adults, I still like my parents.