Honesty...

or what we want to hear.

We've all been there. We ask a question with a clear idea of what we do and do not want to hear. It is so easy to react negatively when we hear what we don't want to hear. What message does that send though? Say what I want to hear and I won't get mad. Say what I don't want to hear and I'll get angry. What will this person learn? Say the "right thing" and nobody gets mad. Often, this leads to lying or at the very least, stretching the truth.

It's easy to say "tell me the truth." However, if I overreact every time somebody tells me a truth that I don't want to hear, they'll learn. They'll learn to say the right things and stay out of trouble.

Consequently, if I don't pay enough attention, it would be easy to mistake their right answers as their agreeing with me. Is it, though? If I willingly allow myself to stay in denial, I will only be more surprised (and angry) when I find out the truth. Then, I say, "Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

Why, indeed. They were trying to keep you from being mad, and therefore spoke an untruth. Of course, it comes back to bite them anyways because I accuse them of not having stated their opinion earlier.

"But I asked!" I might think to myself. True, I did speak the words, but my actions, over a period of time, did not match that. In the end, it is the actions that others believe.

It is difficult to let go of these bad habits, but until we do, we remain blind to the truths sitting in front of us. Letting go requires patience, persistence, and practice. The results, however, are more honest and open conversations, earlier detection of issues, and clarity in the understanding of the situation.

Shouldn't we be doing everything we can to minimize misunderstanding?