Questions, Happily Ever After

Questions to consider:

Where do I want to live?
Options: same apt, new apt in Berkeley, home (Cupertino), close to job (biking/walking)
First Choice: something in Berkeley

What do I want to do?
Options (all dependent on GETTING the job): TFA, SF Symphony, ECYS, office work
First Choice: SF Symphony

I suppose those are the only big questions.
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It is only possible to live happily ever after on a day-to-day basis.
- Margaret Bonnano

10 minute reflection on this:
"Ever after", much like "forever" and "normal", exist because they don't. I mean "ever after" and "forever" exists, but only when it happens, and by then it is now, and normal only exists because there are such extremes. You can't plan for happiness. One can make preparations, one can hope for the best, but if one lives in making these plans, one's current happiness will never be achieved. What happens six months from now is exactly that: something that happens six months from now. And that's something that cannot be controlled. What one CAN control are the choices one makes for tonight, for tomorrow, and what's the harm in making the choices that makes one happy?

Looking at the next couple months makes me so apprehensive. I don't know where I'm living, who I'm living with, what I'm doing, whether I like what I'll be doing, and many more uncertainties. But I can't worry about that. I need to focus on now: applying for the job (and worrying about it if I get it) and figuring out my options. I have no doubt that I can find a job that pays well enough to pay rent and food and little luxuries. I would love to be in Berkeley, but I'm afraid of staying for the "wrong reasons". But if it's my reason, why does it have to be wrong?

I want my parents to support what I do, where I live. I don't want them to permanently have bad feelings about where I'm living, why I didn't come home, along with other choices I make. At the same time, I feel like there are things I cannot talk to my parents about. Things they choose not to deal with, things they choose to ignore.

Really? I want to make my own choices and still be able to watch TV with my mother.